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3EP (Stripper Vicar)
Stripper Vicar
Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter
In the hope that you may soon be getting better
I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor
If you haven't then you know you really oughta
I was worried so I went to see the vicar
But before I could confess he first confessed to be a stripper
Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him
So I thought I'd write and ask your opinion
Should I grass on him, report him to the cardinal
Or wether I should egg him on to turn professional
If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser
But the only thing the stripper wears is plastic trousers
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek
Mavis' opinion is all we should we...
Lie while he's still alive
Should we lie while he's still alive
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it
Dear Mavis, thought I'd follow up my letter
Drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar
Very tragically his time on earth is ended
Found him gagged and bound in stockings and suspenders
Dear Mavis if you tell us what your thoughts are
And I hope that they're not biased 'cos you are the vicar's daughter
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek
Mavis' opinion is all we should we...
Lie now that he has died
Should we lie now that he has died
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it
And we know him as our vicar and by night a part-time stripper
And the vicar got suspended in his stockings and suspenders
And he's making wine from water while he dresses like his daughter
And we know that he's a rip off 'cos we've seen him with his kit off
Should we lie now that he has died
Should we lie now that he has died
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it
The Edge
Cast your stone now he who never sins
Clearly all your roles are now defined
(You've got yours but I have broken mine)
Simply just reflections of
My honest professional belief that I am God
(I am God)
Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I...
Happy children specially in need
(Send them to the dentist they will bleed)
Before you get to know exhesitate
(Could be gay or could be straight)
Your mental state which separates
The action from intention, wash your hands
(Wash your hands)
Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I...
Only for tinsel
Only for tinsel Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I...
The Duchess
Photographic duchess,
Cousin of the queen
I've been infatuated duchess
Since I knew you had the queen
It's the way you move in castle grounds
You're the cousin of the queen for Christ's sake
Duchess I will like you
And that says a lot for me
I'd like you even better duchess
If she died and you were queen
Regal by appointment
Relation to the queen
I thought you were attractive duchess
But the clinched it all for me
It's the way you move in castle grounds
You're the cousin of the queen for Christ's sake
Duchess I will like you
And that says a lot for me
I'd like you even better duchess
If she died and you were queen
Sometimes you're here at my side
And sometimes you travel in time
I don't believe that wherever you travel
You'd get an assistant like mine
Sometimes you're here at my side
And sometimes you travel in time
I don't believe that wherever you travel
You'd get an assistant like mine
Duchess I will like you
And that says a lot for me
I'd like you even better duchess
If she died and you were queen
Duchess I will like you
And that says a lot for me
I'd like you even better duchess
If she died and you were queen
An Open Letter To The Lyrical Trainspotter
I'm writing these words like the fool that I am
Trying to say something good like the person (I am)
But it's all just a sham 'cos the writer I am not
Could say anything, you'd believe them
Just your A-typical Boy-girl-girl-boy androgynous
Play on a publican's decoy
'Cos I had to drop out 'cos the Art School was sad and
If you believe all of that you're a bigger fool than me
The lyrics aren't supposed to mean that much
They're just a vehicle for a lovely voice
They aren't supposed to mean that much
Lyrics mean nothing, don't right any wrongs
In fact I'm not having them on this
You say they mean nothing just gobbledy-gook
But just look at yourself you're not clever enough
Understanding the truth, you are so out of touch
You believe all of this, you can't see it's a spoof
Understand all the words when they don't even rhyme
And I'm losing the rhythm and the whole thing's getting wierder and wierder
The lyrics aren't supposed to mean that much
They're just a vehicle for a lovely voice
They aren't supposed to mean that much
The lyrics aren't supposed to mean that much
They're just a vehicle for a lovely voice
They aren't supposed to mean that much
They all believe me
It's all so easy now
The lyrics aren't supposed to mean that much
They're just a vehicle for a lovely voice
They aren't supposed to mean that much
The lyrics aren't supposed to mean that much
They're just a vehicle for a lovely voice
They aren't supposed to mean that much
No One Knows Us
Winter, Scruffy wakes at dawn
Cold out, snow begins to fall
Birthday, tears in her eyes for me
For to see, yeah
Me and Scruffy, we float above the crowd
Scruffy's birthday balloons are all around
No one knows us, but we don't really care
Today, it all goes our way
Floating high above the street
Laughing at people down beneath
Wierdos, we don't really care
Today, things go our way, yeah
Me and Scruffy, we float above the crowd
Scruffy's birthday balloons are all around
No one knows us, but we don't really care
Today, it all goes our way
What will we do when she's gone
What will we do when she's gone
What will we do wheb she's gone
Now Scruffy's gone
Me and Scruffy, we float above the crowd
Scruffy's birthday balloons are all around
No one knows us, but we don't really care
Today, it all goes our way
Me and Scruffy, we float above the crowd
Scruffy's birthday balloons are all around
No one knows us, but we don't really care
Today, it all goes our way
Things Keep Falling Off Buildings
Things keep falling off buildings
Things keep falling into my path
I keep on dodging projectiles
They fall from scaffolds on building sites
Falling before me to save
Scraping for forgiveness
You tell me that I know
You know they're safe
You tell me that I know
You know they're safe
You tell me that I know
You know
Sittin' up here with my pet tree
And piss on everybody who I should see
I'm twice as happy as you are
You're half as happy as I could be
Falling before me to save
Scraping for forgiveness, hope for forgiveness, you'll see
You tell me that I know
You know they're safe
You tell me that I know
You know
You tell me that I know
You know they're safe
You tell me that I know
You know they're safe
You tell me that I know
You know
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